Session 1: Allow Yourself to Be Just as You Are
Session 2: Bring Yourself into the Present Moment
Session 3: Wake up to the Fullness of Life
Awake in Every Moment
With Pema Chödrön
Session One: Allow Yourself to Be Just as You Are
Group Discussion
What inspired you in this session? What questions came up for you?
Leave Your Comment Below
I love the concept of “just as you are” and making friends with yourself. I also still hear Pema’s beautiful voice saying, “allow, allow, allow….”
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I love the “just as you are” philosophy of meditation…and making friends with yourself. I also loved when Pema said, “allow, allow, allow…”
Thank you! The wisdom is there in your disfunctional habit. So simple and yet so hard. Inspiring and laying a long jouney ahead for me!
As a person who suffers with depression, these words and concepts have saved me from spiraling downward. The more I read,study, and integrate this wisdom into my life, the better I feel. Thank you!
Allowing the present state – not condoning not criticising it – is the beginning of finding wisdom.
Accepting yourself, allowing to whatever arises is so counter intuitive to how I was raised as an American Catholic. The play between the control of the ego and surrendering to God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit was in constant conflict. Anticipating cause effect of those things that could lead us to make a wrong decision or wrong path were constantly in the forefront of my thinking. I remember the first time I attended a meditation retreat and was told quite specifically that I was OKAY just the way I was or is. Instantly, I felt a WAVE of relief and love for myself. Tears well up in my eyes and I wanted to cry forever, to create my own swimming pool of self acceptance, to wash myself of the dust of self doubt, hate, shame that comes with the perception that you were raised to achieve this quasi notion that to arrive, you would have to personify perfection. To BE, was Awesome. To ALLOW myself to feel the moment of arrival. The door of peace had opened!
Someone I love is dying. And I can’t let go of the past we had, wanting back those good times . Feeling like a child who desperately wants to have something.
Sending compassion.
Stop running from anything uncomfortable and ebmrace with a full heart, self compassion 🕉❤✌
Thanks Pema, much love, you save my life everyday ❤
_:_
Thank you_(())_
Reminded to be with what “is”
no hablo ni entiendo el ingles. puedo darle al traductor hasta llegar a la audición, sale en inglés.
Sesión 1: Permítete ser tal como eres
Sesión 2: Llévate al momento presente
Sesión 3: Despierta a la plenitud de la vida
“Wisdom is right there in the habit… right where you are.” So very simplistic, true, and challenging in one simple sentence. Thank you! Powerful!
Deceptively hard/miraculously simple…loving oneself the way one wishes to be loved is the key to giving love to the world. Thank you, Pema Chodron.
As I was listening to the talk and started to allow myself to be just as I was, my poster changed. I began to relax and feel tension leaving my body. Then there came an urge to weep, to howl, to sob for all the times I judged and was hard on myself.. Had I been alone at the time, I probably would have. As soon as the talk finished, I felt the usual need to control and criticise others become redundant. When I am given the license and freedom to be just as I am, a generosity arises in me to also allow others to be exactly as they are. This is a HUGE and INCREDIBLE shift for me.
Thank you, after years of caring for someone I see the impending end.
I have told so many others that we have to be out own best friend, thank you for telling how. Simple but so hard.
We have no choice in who we are given what we’ve done in the past, our conditioning, our experiences, so we might as well accept and, perhaps, even enjoy it.
Such a powerful message put so simply. I will be using the ‘unconditional friendship with myself’ as a framework for my practice going forward. And throughout my day of course. Thank you
It was wonderful to hear her voice again. I have listened to many tapes but in the past. I really liked her statement that the innate goodness has “become the property”of the ego. And her saying it takes years and years to get to the allowing of hard feelings. I like the word allowing. It is soft, instead of a hard struggle. This short format works for me. I know I can take this much time. Thank you.
I found the presentation very useful, particularly with its’ emphasis on experiential learning.
I have found truth in being a friend to yourself.Who knows us better than ourself..For so many yrs I had trouble being myself.Now, yrs after studying Buddhism I have finally found myself.
I’m kind,funny,emotional,artistic, loving, and believe so strongly in the 4 noble truths..I study alone but have gained strengths from finding my own pathway and discovering ppl like me wanting a peaceful and comforting way to live.It is so freeing allowing me to be me.I also feel that I can guide ppl better now I have found where my strengths are..Namaste
Just being, just allow yourself to be who you are. We need to connect with where we are and just allowing it to be. A very profound statement as we always tend to criticize ourselves and be hard on ourselves. We are our own worst enemies.
This idea that I can work to develop an unshakable friendship with myself is a really nice goal. I like this idea, this reminder that allowing all aspects of myself to be acceptable and worthy of respect…to let myself be seen and welcomed. Friendship.
Thank you for this moment; I bring to my self a Path for to run it
At FRIST I STARTED TO LAUGH, A BIG LAUGH CAME, MY TENDENCIOUS ARE TO GET FRUSTRATED , EVEN A LITTLE MAD.FOR 4 MINUTES. WHEN I LET GO, THE ACCEPTANCE OF MY SELF COMES FAIRLY QUICKLEY.
Resistence, Acknowledgement, and Allowing. Words to improve yourself to become who you want to be.
Allowing this “unconditional friendship” with myself…. instead of “trying” so hard to make that happen. That’s an important thing I learned here. And to practice meditation in support of this. Blessings!
I constantly struggle with the anger and anxiety that triggers it – the self-flagellant part of my soul. To practice allowing it and recognizing it’s part of me will be difficult. I know this will help me accept who I am and heal and change.
Not rejecting, not condoning, just allowing what is in the moment. Thank you!
So ironic – I was sitting at a teacher workshop about Social Emotional Learning today and the speaker used a quote by Pemm Chodron. I had never heard of her, and this shows up on my FB feed. Definitely meant to be. Thank you.
To allow whatever it is that you may be resisting , meaning even the resistence, allowing that as well
Thank You. Your words greatly supported where I am now on my journey of learning.
Since wisdom is everywhere…….for me, there has to be wisdom even in the darkness, in pain, in disappointment, in tragedy.
As a practitioner, I have the opportunity to discover , to open up, to explore this hidden wisdom. It isn’t really hidden, I just have to be open to it and accept it. In a culture that has programmed me to be critical of myself, I have numerous opportunities to practice acceptance of myself and to explore the hidden gold mine.
Thank you so much, for the encouragement to stay with Pain
The biggest piece I took was the comment “wisdom is in the dysfunctional habit “ . It gives me hope that all the growth I am trying to achieve is possible. Thank you.
AMEN!!! With gratitude to the sublime wisdom of Pema
This teaching brings a great feeling of relief for me. It is ok to be me..
Thank you, we have had some tough times and I needed re-grounding and your words help me so much – being in the present moment and letting go , sometimes you just need a little reminder of what you know is right even if practicing for years sometimes you get a little lost
Should this be done in private. If with others, you might be pushing buttons and they may retaliate.
My thoughts during and after the talkl: Allowing onself to be oneself I guess is a starting point. From there – after years of practice- one can improve. I sort of understand the message, still find it difficult to relate to it as part of an improvement. Just being helps to be more present. Lots to learn. Thank you.
Business, what a pity.
I am so grateful to Pena Chondron for her work as it has helped me through dark times.
This session opened up a new curiosity for me to be my own friend. Unconditional friendship with myself is profound.
Does anyone know how long these talks will be freely available?
I am listening every day a few times a day – they are helpful.
take care. JO
It,S difficult because the tides of emotions are acting as contrary winds with all the preconceptions you acquired and inherited; meanwhile it is true that you need to start just where you are, and with humility accept who you are at this perfect instant that is the time you choose to practice.
Thank you,
Works for me, My wife is not so understanding.
Oh I hadn’tfinished yet. Not to act it out – that was an important information. Sit still – like you, Pema, nd allow – without comment. Sitting still without doing – that is difficult for. I’ll go on trying! Thank you.
t has so much to do with my dignity
Unconditional friendship…i know i’ve heard the term before…its so practical yet so difficult to practice…..
Ines February102020. 5:10pm
I´ll try my best to be my friend a hundred percent of the time.
Thank you Pema
I have suffered from depression and anxiety all my life and want to learn how to love myself in this life.
I’m not really like this, but if I were to be in Pema’s presence, it would be difficult not to fold down and put my forehead on the floor before her. Just in abject appreciation.
I can have difficulty expressing my feelings when I’m alone with myself. With others, it is easier. So, I am thinking based on this teaching that being even more non judgmental and compassionate with myself would be a good way to allow myself to feel more freely when I’m alone.
I need that unshakable friendship with myself. I have had so much disappointment and confusion with myself that it even becomes hard to be supportive and understanding. I guess then I am judging and not able to even see through those things. Thanks.
I love that Pema said “friendship with yourself” instead of “loving yourself”. I feel that love, naturally comes with a friend, but the reframing of the idea, to just be my friend, was profound for me. Thank you.
I was struck by this new way of approaching my feelings towards myself too, thinking of myself as a friend was quite a profound (and welcome) reframing of this idea.
Intriguing to think that the self information is in the behavior that I judge. My consistent self judgement is “I’m not doing enough for the world/others/fellow humans. I will reach to be friends with myself when the sadness and fear pass through and be open to the info that is there at that time.
Exploring and learning as I go has lead me here.
It’s hard to allow me to be me in my present job situation. I’m instantly hearing I need to do more and I’m not catching on quick enough. I’m working in an incredibly fast paced, high tech industry. My job is essential to my livelihood at the present time. So, I’m unable to just leave it. Furthermore, there is goodness, such as mindfulness, yoga, and the great people) at the corporation. I really don’t want to leave. Jon’s words “wherever you go, there you are” are keeping me grounded at the job (though I see myself loosing my positivity many days).
May a sense Mindfulness be a part of all corporations in this world. May it start with upper management down to every employee.
This reminds me of the Buddha’s teaching: “Pull the weeds but then lay them close to the tree.”
I heard that saying as let the weeds turn into nourishment for your practice. I like how you put it.
I find it hard to be with myself when I am in that less than perfect space .. but / and I also see the hurt child acting and will have more compassion and acceptance of her .. thank you Pema🙏🏼❤️
I like Pema. Always have.
I have a belief in the fundamental precious ness of each and every human being….inluding myself.
It ends in a decision to love my neighbor as myself
and that starts with loving myself.
Many humans need to learn to love themselves after being traumatuzed or abused as children…it is the beginning a a new healthy life.
Children raised in culture where they are treasured and educated in interpersonal relationships don’t need so much to learn to love themselves.
It is as diddicult to fongive oneself and it is to forgive thosse who have hurt us…but I feel these two steps are the basic steps toware wholeness
or sanctity or maturity…what ever you want to call it Enlightenment is another word for it.
I’m not sure how to express this -The concept of Developing a fundamental unshakable friendship with myself seems very strange. I think that being kind to someone else and embracing them with love is natural but embracing me doesn’t seem natural. I have a lot to learn.
Thank you.
Unshakeable friendship with one’s self.
Allow, allow, allow. Not condoning. Not rejecting .
Wisdom is right there in the dysfunctional pattern. These phrases and this teaching pull together & offer clear advice for a number of practices and aspirations I’m working with right now. What a blessing. Grateful and looking forward to the next ones.
Stop right there! ” unshakeable friendship!” Those strong words bring forth the question where in my life has that been expressed?
Thank you for those words to ponder.
I love this thought of Allowing Allowing Allowing. I want to cultivate this in my life and accept and love myself just the way I am. Thank you for this insight and I look forward to learning more about myself and learning to love myself just as I am. What a gift that would be to myself.
First, I love everything Pema. I am presently taking the Heart of the Matter course. I just listened to this section last night and was so taken with it, that I replayed it enough to write it out. Serendipity that this came today!
Many thanks!
There are so many layers to allowing. I was fearful before a potential housemate this afternoon. As I was preparing, I kept noticing the fear, even talking to myself about it. I was so busy naming my feeling (but not pausing to feel it) that I stepped into the shower with my earring aids on. Now, I am loving the goofy person who did that and allowing for one hearing aid that works another that doesn’t. Allowing time and warmth to dry it out.
“Just as you are.” “unshakable friendship” and “The wisdom is right there in the dysfunctional habit” really struck a chord. When I get worked up – I see myself doing it and either I want to it or the situation to go away and/or I start judging and hating myself for it.. To allow and explore it is tough work. I do try. I experienced once that underneath anger is pain and underneath all that is compassion and love. It was amazing how the fire of love melted and dissolved the anger. My question is what is this “wisdom” Ani Pema is always referring to , that inituitive i know we are all looking and yearning for ? Is it always love and compassion for oursleves and our sharedd human condition? is it different for different emotions?
I wonder this too. How is this wisdom in the dysfunctional accessed?
I really enjoyed this session, it has helped me to be present and allow me to accept the feelings that I have difficulty in accepting. Just allow them to pass like a cloud passes in the sky. Thank you Pema. I love you and your teaching.
I am starting to be present and give love to your self. So i can be a much better person to help others.
Allowing not condoning… This is a great message and knowing that it may take a long time. Thank you Pema!!!
Allowing, not condoning, not criticizing…. this hit me, right in the tummy. Already I can sense the difference with this. I am looking forward to the retreat
Many times as a teacher you show a lot of concern for your students. You tend to forget about yourself. This was a great positive reminder no matter what other people say about you allow yourself to be who you are.
Oh Wow, this session touched me in so many ways. Allow, Allow, Allow, what a beautiful mantra to practice. Yes and the Wisdom lies within us, but I forget that so often. And also that ‘no way is the way’ and it will take a long time, maybe the rest of my LIFE. But how much better to have started this journey of self compassion and acceptance NOW and to be awake and accepting of myself in every moment – good, bad, sad, glad or mad. I look forward to listening to the other sessions. Thank you for this offering
Being told/reminded, that it’s OK to be myself was inspiring, made me feel that I’m ‘OK’
How are meditation and love related? Does meditation encompass love or vice-versa? Meditation towards someone, a devotional figure or even a deity can that be cultivated? Is there a formal or semi-formal process?
allowing and letting go of uncomfortable feelings
thank you, Namasté
Greetings! “Allowing”– I find that the more I allow myself to sit with difficult feelings and thoughts, the bigger the world gets. It is as if, in making a space for myself to feel and think anything, and to just let that be, I open a space for the big world to come in, with less fear, less anger, more understanding and tolerance.
Beautiful thoughts.
I am in a self judgement downward spiral. Literally finding it hard to get off the couch.
Pema’s words are helpful and uplifting.
The wisdom is right there in your dysfunctional habit – the beginning has to be allowing.
“Allow, allow, allow..”
Simply beautiful and strong
The phrase “unshakable friendship” . As a teacher I have been trying to find the words to express how to experience the good, the bad & the ugly things that arise during practice. Sometimes asking to give unconditional love to yourself can seem unattainable when dealing with your personal experience.. it’s easier just to ignore/sir press what is happening rather than try to find “unconditional love” to yourself. The phrase “unshakable friendship” is an amazing way to describe how to face whatever you encounter
I enjoyed this session. I’m already working on being present in the moment not in the past or the future. It’s becoming easier everyday. And I’m working on self love which I’m getting better at also
I am far away from my understanding of Buddhism now. I have no one I hate, I am never rude to anyone, I live a virtuos life, and yet I am not in the zone. I am I’ll and depressed.
You mean I’m not alone? For all of us that stopped and opened this email–Yeah Us!! I am unmotivated, maybe Lazy, just feel like the joy has been sucked out of me. Self-Esteem/acceptance, self-love are foreign concepts to me. Thank you Pema for helping open my eyes and giving me a place to start! Usually, I stop before I start-so just starting, accepting and allowing are HUGE for me! Be blessed one and all as we embark on the daunting journey.
To allow what comes up in the field of dharmata, be honest, open, and a witness to it, helps unravel the knot of complexities, and solves many self-conflicted struggles. Excellent advice. If one doesn’t like then what one sees, one can move toward change with greater resolve. It gives permission for that inner light to manifest,paradoxically almost, ( that shines like the sun behind the clouds), which is the point of the exercise one suspects.
To become the best friend of your inner children in all of their growth states as we know none of them mature and grow at the same rate. Lots to ponder.
What Pema calls “acceptance” I’ve come to call “relinquishing “. ?
Acceptance shifts the tone. Slightly. Thank you.
With gratitude, pb
Thank you , Pena for your wisdom and insight into the fragility of human ego. You have once again inspired me to evolve into the person I am supposed to be. Thank you. 🤲
What if you in your 70’s suddenly are faced with the comprehension that your have self defeating behaviors that harm yourself?
What do you do to change?
tthe This practice is so good for me. The more I am able to accept myself with compassion and non-judgement the more I am able to free from my difficultHabitual thought and habit patterns that limit me. I often will
Invite those difficult parts of me to come sit down with me to have a cup of tea so that I can get to know them
Better and look deeply at them. And the best part
Is the more I do this the more I can offer another Person that same love and compassion and acceptance! I love
You Pema. Thank you for all that
You do to help make someone like me transform! 💜🙏🤗
I am wondering and curious right now. So many feelings, thoughts, right and wrongs, judgement…. we all have about ourselves others. Taking it all in and examining it all without judgement. Allowing it in creates a wide open space to really take a close look with a wider lense. I think by allowing all of it to be there, acknowledging and having awareness allows one to take a step back and work on the ‘hard stuff’ that needs to change or let it be. At least, try and examine thoughts and feelings honestly and then do the hard work to change what is not supporting your life, relationships and your connection to the greater good.
A reminder of the importance of breath and breathing well. Thank you!
I am very interested in the full course. Do you have a payment plan?
yes a procrastinating couch potato filed with aggression and ego self. thank you for giving me permission to be this. now, if “i””can only allow it.
I have been following Pema’s teaching for quite a while now and I am pleased to watch this video as it affirms what I experiencing right now, Just allowing, profound learning indeed.
An hour ago , my partner wanted me to repress my feelings and thoughts about a family situation in which I am deeply offended by his daughter . No more of that kind of repression!
Thanks to you dear dear Pema , I give myself the right to have my own feelings and opinions …I am 75 and needed to hear that 75 years ago !
It is never too late , I can trust my gut feelings and intuition …they are so sharp now !
I am free .
Ok, today, I will start accepting myself, no judgement, just be ok……good morning friend, have a good day!
I love the idea of being a good friend to myself. I’ve learned through my experiences to be a good friend to others by removing my expectations and letting them be who they are. What a novel idea to apply this to myself! Just let myself be who I am. Not condoning. Not condemning. That’s my inspiration for today. Thank you.
I am 79 and from india. I studied a year at Harvard in 1980-81. I was in the state civil service in Gujarat and retired in 2000.
I am amazed how much time and energy Pema Chödrön has devoted to this cause. I come with no problems whatever to this course. My daughter , Geeta, is a teacher of MBSR in Austin, Texas.
VRSC
Not accepting myself was taught to me at an early age, I was never good enough! At 76 I am just now beginning to learn to accept what is and myself. Difficult concept and thank you for this video.
That’s so wonderful to hear that after many years you are using these tools to help yourself. Warm hugs
How can one trust to be oneself is safe when one has experienced social isolation by being oneself when I was little. What I was good at was taken away in a spilt second and suddenly I became incompetent. I still live the consequences until today.
This is sad. I’m sorry, Christina. I get it.
Christina, I recommend looking into RoHun therapy. https://delphiu.com/
I was not raised to accept myself. A although it is always hard for me, the self-acceptance that I have so far arrived at has been one of the most invaluable, ongoing lessons in my whole life. Thanks for your teachings.